In “The Courage to Be Disliked,” authors Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga present a compelling dialogue that bridges the gap between psychology and philosophy, drawing on the principles of Alfred Adler, a founding figure of individual psychology. The book is structured as a conversation between a philosopher and a young man, providing a unique narrative style that engages readers on both intellectual and emotional levels. One of the most significant contributions of this work is its exploration of the human desire for approval versus the necessity of self-acceptance. Kishimi and Koga argue that the need for recognition from others often leads to a life dictated by external expectations, thereby stifling personal growth. They challenge readers to cultivate the courage to be disliked, a radical notion in a society that often prioritizes conformity and seeks validation through social acceptance. The authors delve into the importance of embracing one’s individuality and the role of community in fostering personal development. They advocate for accountability to oneself and the value of authentic relationships over superficial connections. This perspective is particularly relevant in today’s hyper-connected world, where social media often blurs the lines between genuine interactions and performative relationships. Moreover, the book resonates with biblical principles, emphasizing themes of personal responsibility and the transformative power of self-acceptance. Readers familiar with spiritual teachings will find profound connections between Adlerian psychology and scriptures that promote love, understanding, and community engagement. The dialogue format maintains a refreshing pace, inviting readers into a philosophical inquiry that prompts introspection. With each turn of the page, Kishimi and Koga’s insights provoke thought and reflection, offering practical guidance that readers can apply to their own lives. While some may find the ideas challenging or even counterintuitive, “The Courage to Be Disliked” ultimately serves as an empowering manifesto for anyone seeking to break free from the shackles of societal expectations. It encourages a shift in mindset, proposing that true happiness lies in the acceptance of oneself rather than the pursuit of external approval. In conclusion, “The Courage to Be Disliked” is not merely a self-help book; it is a philosophical treatise that compels readers to rethink their understanding of self-worth, relationships, and personal freedom. Whether you are a seasoned scholar or a curious newcomer to these concepts, this book is a valuable addition to your library—an enlightening read that promises to foster growth and enhance one’s journey towards self-discovery.

Wow. How is Sigmund Freud a household name but Alfred Adler a mere afterthought, a footnote? Even as a pretty serious psychology autodidact and after taking numerous college classes (intro, child, adolescent, personality psychology) I must admit I didn't even recognize his name let alone his research or theories. But the Japanese are onto something, ahead of the rest of the world as it seems they tend to be (I just recently read about topics such as shinrin-yoku and nano-hydroxyapatite), ahead of the rest of the world. Adlerian psychology AKA individual psychology is hopefully here to stay. You can see evidence of the culture shifting to corroborate its views—evidence of the coming to fruition of Alder's own prophecy on why he'd be forgotten: "The implication being that if his [ideas] were forgotten, it would be because [they] had outgrown the bounds of a single area of [philosophy], and become commonplace, and a feeling shared by everyone." Take for example the recent publication by bestselling author David Brooks; if you've read The Courage to Be Disliked, you'll immediately recognize the parallels to Adlerian psychology in the cover flap summary of The Second Mountain. Really this isn't a self-help or personal growth book as much as it is an introductory philosophy book with the power to direct and transform your life. And it sets a new bar for me on which self help books are worth reading (some, not many) and which are garbage (most of them). Not to mention that using the format of Socratic dialogue in and of itself is just a brilliant choice by the authors. How this book can be rated anything below 5 stars is unfathomable by me, and makes me question my faith in humanity, the good judgment of the common person. I hope the tides of history turn, that in 50 years it's not Fraud (oops I mean Freud) who will be revered as the father of modern psychology but that Alfred Adler will rightly take his place with that title. I think it's high time we start to reject the pitifully ineffective disease/disorder paradigm of mental health which has been corrupted by the vices of allopathic medicine (which does have its virtues in other contexts) and start to embrace the more humanistic, holistic, positive growth, teleological (wink wink) approaches to psychology and mental health. Look at the world: current events, mental health statistics, etc. Our current way of doing things (especially in America) is not working. Adlerian psychology is right here under our noses, a beacon of hope waiting to be shone and shown to others. Which is what I implore you to do once you've finished reading this book: show it to others! Buy it for them if you have to! I have already bought 3 other copies as gifts to people in my life....you can trust my review because I'm already putting my money where my mouth is. READ THIS BOOK especially if you have not already scaled your "second mountain"

“The Courage to be Disliked” is “a distillation of [Alfred] Adler’s philosophical and psychological ideas and teachings” (p. ix) through the filter of the Japanese philosopher, Ichiro Kishimi. Fumitake Koga wrote a Platonic-like dialogue to convey these ideas as a vaguely Stoical guide to living one’s life. The ideas include (1) separating tasks, focusing on what is in your control and what is not; (2) living in the present rather than dwelling on past failures; (3) deriving one’s value from how one contributes to the well-being of others, the community; (4) not deriving one’s value from the approbation of others, and having the courage to be disliked (i.e., don’t seek validation or approval of others but do what is right); and (5), perhaps the most difficult to accept, that we are not the victims of our circumstances. The English translation tends to be stilted. (No credit is given to a translator, so it may be that this was machine-translated.) Nonetheless it is passable and conveys the ideas mostly in a clear fashion. Christians and adherents of Stoic philosophy will recognize many of the concepts being described and promoted.

Turns typical therapy on its head. Helpful outlook.

Com didática simples e intuitiva, este livro traz conceitos práticos e radicais para mudar a forma como vemos a vida. Recomendo muito para pessoas entre 25 e 35 anos, que provavelmente estarão vivendo o primeiro momento de realmente se firmarem perante o mundo como donos de si mesmos.

I really enjoy reading this book because of how the information is presented; in a dialogue format. The authors made the important points simple to grasp.

J’ai bien apprécié cette réflexion sur la philosophie Adlerienne.

The Courage to Be Disliked is a transformative read that challenges conventional ideas about happiness, relationships, and self-worth. Written as a dialogue between a philosopher and a young seeker, the book uses Adlerian psychology to unpack why we feel stuck in life and how we can break free. What makes this book unique is its conversational style, which makes profound psychological concepts accessible without being overly academic. It reframes many of our struggles, like seeking approval or living in fear of rejection, as choices we make rather than inevitable realities. This perspective is both liberating and empowering. One of the key takeaways for me was the idea that happiness isn't something we pursue but a byproduct of living authentically and contributing to others. The book also emphasizes the importance of accepting responsibility for our emotions and actions without blaming our past or external circumstances. However, it’s worth noting that some readers may find the advice a bit idealistic or challenging to implement. It’s not a step-by-step guide but rather a philosophical shift in how we view ourselves and the world. Overall, The Courage to Be Disliked is a must-read for anyone seeking deeper clarity and freedom in their life. It’s thought-provoking, inspiring, and will leave you questioning—and ultimately redefining—what it means to lead a fulfilling life.